simple is enough

update

pain was freaking me out hardcore because i usually dont get menstrual cramps of this severity

took pills but of course those take time to kick in during which time i was in major distress

anything that constantly reminds me that yes, i have a uterus… is not a good thing

i decided to occupy my mind, so i took a walk

but at 2am in the morning going out onto the streets is not an option, so i walked around the house, specifically a circuit around the main floor

i walked nonstop in a circle for about fourty minutes

the cat was spooked by it… he dodged me with his hackles raised a couple times… tried to jump in my path and stop me a few other times

but whatever works, works, so im back, slightly sweaty but the pain is gone

im going to finish this movie and go to bed, and hopefully it will stay gone　

SCREAMS WHY ARE MY OVARIES AND KIDNEYS CONSPIRING AGAINST ME BY CRAMPING AT THE SAME TIME GOD FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

golgothastragedy:

MY LIP FUCKING HURTS GODDAMNIT

BECAUSE

FOR SOME GODDAMN REASON

I TRIED TO FIX THE HOLES IN MY LIP BY CHEWING AROUND THEM

LOGIC

maybe you should something to distract from your lips

like

idk you could chew gum or suck on a piece of hard candy

Read More

golgothastragedy:

i don’t even really want to take T because fuck, i just love being feminine

i like having hairless arms and soft skin and yeah, my voice could be deeper and it would be nice to get a little more toned but 

my body is perfect the way it is except for a few minor defects

maybe you can take a lower dose than is usually recommended for transitioning?

not that i know shit about any of it because i dont want to start looking at trans* things and then get my hopes up when im not able to afford those things

like cock shopping

sighhhh

golgothastragedy:

okay maybe this is a biased opinion here, y’know, maybe as somebody who is trans and gay will just not understand something as complex as this issue but seriously, why do people care so much about what happens in fandoms

if you want heterosexuality, just turn on a tv, go on a different website, just step outside and you’ll be surrounded by it

there is literally one website

where people can almost fit in and be happy with themselves and not get judged for being queer

i understand if nonqueer people (is there a word for that) feel a little left out but

idk

i guess that feeling of being left out, that being ‘straight and cis’ is this big taboo thing? that’s the same feeling we get when we get off the internet and go somewhere else. and it sucks, y’know, it sucks for us and honestly it sucks for you guys too, but i don’t… really think it’s something worth complaining about??? like if you don’t like the queer culture that’s pretty much established on tumblr, just… idk ;__;

#vagueblogs about an unpopular homestuck opinion where he knows he won’t be attacked for it

glord

are straight cisdudebros complaining about slash again

look at the size of that entitlement complex

they get bromances and straight romance and sex pretty much everywhere but no

they gotta have this space too

fuck them

golgothastragedy:

i couldn’t phrase the thought well enough to go on my regular blog but it was pretty much like

emotions are weird and i keep seeing phrases that confuse me

i always feel tempted to ask what somebody means when they say something

like what it feels like, i guess?

the particular phrase i’m thinking of now is ‘This is absolutely disgusting’ and stuff to that effect

y’know, when tumblr users are reacting to some depressing bullshit, and go on and on about their hatred of humanity, etc

but it’s hard to tell if they’re actually feeling disgust and hatred at that moment or if they’re just typing the words like i do

like are people always in some sort of emotional rollercoaster when they’re on tumblr, like, constantly being effected by the things they see posted

do people literally feel all of the time or

does anybody wanna explain this to me

i think mostly

okay well for me

its an empathetic response

i can imagine myself in situations and how it would make me feel

or i can think about the moral implications of things and have an opinion about it

but unless its personal, i dont really FEEL it, no

golgothicterror:

Read More

sometimes i jiggle mine and go “bowowowowowng”

golgothastragedy:

yupui:

golgothastragedy:

yupui:

golgothastragedy:

yupui:

golgothastragedy:

i’m too wrapped up in my own misery to accept whatever help is offered for me and then get even more bitter after i refuse to get saved. i hate being sick but i won’t allow myself to get better because being depressed and miserable and suicidal and apathetic is all i ever had. i blame everybody for my own flaws when it’s all my fault. and even if i’m aware of that, it’s not going to change because

ive been in this position, and i know what it feels like to be afraid of losing yourself, that fear you feel when people ask you to change

and its even worse when they make it about themselves

they say, “i want you to be happy”

they never ask “do you want to be happy? what does happiness mean to you?”

and they dont trust your judgement when you say you know yourself better than anyone else can, even though its your body, your mind

being young and being sick can be the hardest thing in the world

kip i can’t do this, i can’t stay here for that long. i mean, at least when i was in college, i was miserable and trying to kill myself every other day but at least i could be my own person. i can’t do that here, i can’t do anything without getting shit thrown back into my face. because i’m 19, i’m an adult now, but i don’t

i don’t know what i’m trying to say. i don’t have the outlet i had when i was in college and it sucks

i wish i had the power to take you away from there or give you a place to hide or something, i dont know

i mean youre welcome here, my aunt is a kind if not a little ignorant about things but she wouldnt say no to having your company, and idk id take a cab over there if i had to, we wouldnt have to do anything but sit on the curb outside where no one else is around, if it made you feel better

i wish u_u my friends have tried to get me away from my parents before but the thought of getting caught scares me too much. i’m gonna keep trying to convince them to let me visit you though.. c:

 i feel like a damsel in distress right now, like i’m the prettiest fairyboy princess and kip is my prince charming,that cheered me up a little though hehe.

note to self: buy ricky a tiara

oh my god i would rock a tiara so hard. 

#it’s hard being a femme transboy #it’s hard and nobody understands #i wanna run around wearing fairy wings and a tiara without it being girly ahrgsdfs #woe ;_;

i know that feel, bro

golgothastragedy:

yupui:

golgothastragedy:

yupui:

golgothastragedy:

i’m too wrapped up in my own misery to accept whatever help is offered for me and then get even more bitter after i refuse to get saved. i hate being sick but i won’t allow myself to get better because being depressed and miserable and suicidal and apathetic is all i ever had. i blame everybody for my own flaws when it’s all my fault. and even if i’m aware of that, it’s not going to change because

ive been in this position, and i know what it feels like to be afraid of losing yourself, that fear you feel when people ask you to change

and its even worse when they make it about themselves

they say, “i want you to be happy”

they never ask “do you want to be happy? what does happiness mean to you?”

and they dont trust your judgement when you say you know yourself better than anyone else can, even though its your body, your mind

being young and being sick can be the hardest thing in the world

kip i can’t do this, i can’t stay here for that long. i mean, at least when i was in college, i was miserable and trying to kill myself every other day but at least i could be my own person. i can’t do that here, i can’t do anything without getting shit thrown back into my face. because i’m 19, i’m an adult now, but i don’t

i don’t know what i’m trying to say. i don’t have the outlet i had when i was in college and it sucks

i wish i had the power to take you away from there or give you a place to hide or something, i dont know

i mean youre welcome here, my aunt is a kind if not a little ignorant about things but she wouldnt say no to having your company, and idk id take a cab over there if i had to, we wouldnt have to do anything but sit on the curb outside where no one else is around, if it made you feel better

i wish u_u my friends have tried to get me away from my parents before but the thought of getting caught scares me too much. i’m gonna keep trying to convince them to let me visit you though.. c:

 i feel like a damsel in distress right now, like i’m the prettiest fairyboy princess and kip is my prince charming,that cheered me up a little though hehe.

note to self: buy ricky a tiara